How to enhance Self-Esteem? - Part III

20, Oct, 2013, by Seema Bhatnagar

This is a three part series, also check out part I and part II here:
How to enhance Self-Esteem? - Part I
How to enhance Self-Esteem? - Part II

self-esteem quote from thomas carlyle

How to enhance low self-esteem?

"There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity." ~ Nathaniel Branden

Individuals who have low self-esteem feel suppressed and constantly seek ways to vent out personal pent ups. In extreme cases of low self-esteem, individuals can be potential risks for others and can turn very aggressive and violent. By face, they might look very innocent and docile but due to constant suppressed emotional state; they develop a tendency to either commit suicide or to harm others in some way. We must be wary of such people around us and must help them in some way to come out of that state. It is for sure difficult to overcome low self-esteem because it is a programming of mind for years and years.

Being different means you have to stop following others and have to have self-reliance in whatever choices you are making with the best of personal capabilities.

Let's have a look at some of the ways which can be helpful in overcoming low self-esteem.

  1. Evaluate personal strengths and weaknesses
  2. Take a stock of your personal strengths and weaknesses. Once you have a clear idea about it, you would no longer find it shocking if somebody criticize you for any of your shortcomings.

  3. Replace every negative thought with a positive one
  4. It is not always necessary that what others says about you is true, it is your own image and past experience which makes you to think so. Even if somebody commented anything negative, immediately replace it with a positive thought and remind yourself about your past achievements.

  5. Avoid negative people
  6. It is like avoiding electric current or heap of garbage. People who are negative are constantly giving out vibrations of negativity in the environment. Would any sane person ever touch the open ended wire to get the shock or will go near the stinking garbage bin. Just avoid such people or minimize your interactions, wear your protections while facing them, this is just to avoid any damaging effect on self.

  7. Reminder for past achievements
  8. There is nobody on this earth who hasn't achieved anything. Everybody achieves something in personal capacity. Whenever you are feeling low, remind yourself of your past achievements.

  9. Personal check list for points of criticism
  10. Prepare a quick checklist of points for which you think, you can be criticized by others. It is very simple to prepare list because majority people have average style of thinking, so think for a moment from an average mind. Write your response and how you will handle such people. This will help you a lot, especially at work place.

  11. List of improvement areas
  12. Prepare a list of those areas in life which makes you feel low and inadequate or those areas which gave you pain in the past and think of improvement you can bring for those. This will also empower and motivate you for personal growth.

  13. Start taking risks
  14. Doesn't matter if you did something in the past but failed and had to bear the brunt, this should not be the limiting factor in future. Go ahead and do it once again with new thought and energy, you would surely be an improved version this time. Taking risk is very important to counter low self-esteem. In my opinion, no risk means no action in life.Do something which dares you.

  15. Break the ice
  16. Meet and talk with people who do not know much about you or you are meeting them for the first time. Feel comfortable, as the other person has no idea about your past and there is no risk of evoking past memories.

  17. Develop an understanding
  18. Maximum pressure comes from people who know us. In majority of the cases, we do not have a choice to leave or ignore them, so in such cases, the good idea would be to develop an understanding that the other person is also struggling with some personal issue of low self-esteem and this is how s/he is channelizing personal frustrations. This is actually true, because people with high self-esteem are encouraging towards others and help others to feel good about themselves while people with low self-esteem drags others down.

  19. New hobby & interest
  20. Start something new, may be a new hobby or interests which you always wanted to pursue but could not do it due to fear of being criticized. You never know which of your interests or hobby can become a purpose of your life.

  21. Learn from your past failures
  22. Making mistakes is healthy but only when, if you are learning from them else it is stupidity and wastage of time. It is perfectly fine, if you failed hundred times but if you failed to understand the reason of failure, you wasted those many opportunities. Just learn from your mistake and move on, do not brood over them for too long.

  23. Be Fit & Healthy
  24. Do exercise and eat a balanced food so that not to get overweight or obese. It is not about looking appealing and getting accepted by others but only because healthy and fit people have better capability to face challenges. Health is first thing which makes you feel bad or good in the very first place, so ensure at least that part which is absolutely in your hand is perfectly managed.

  25. Do meditation
  26. On any given day, for large part of it, you are thinking what others feel about you and what would be your response. Meditation brings you close to self and is a best way to feel connected to self and to focus inwards. Connecting everyday will give you power to accept self with all shortcomings in personality.

  27. Make friends and connections
  28. Meeting new people and making friends give you a different energy. If you make friends at different stages of life, you have better story and experience from your previous stage to share with them. Keep making friends and connections and do not forget to share your experience with them. This will help you to realize that how everything in life adds up to your experience.

  29. Follow inspiring people
  30. Read and follow inspiring personalities. Reading inspirational stuff definitely leaves a positive impact on self-esteem. Just keep reading blogs, books, ebooks etc. about inspiring people and stay high on positivity.

Leadership and Self Esteem

Delving into history, tells us that great leaders had high levels of self esteem and they had clear idea about their personal strengths and weaknesses. Pick up any leader whom who admire, you would surely find his/her quality of knowing personal strengths and weaknesses and being absolutely open and honest about admitting them. It is just next to impossible to make such people feel bad or low on self-esteem because they have a crystal clear idea of personal power and any level of criticism can't make any difference to them. Not to forget, such people have been good learners throughout their life because understanding and accepting self does not mean full stop to learning but a point where the true learning starts and that too with more willingness and focus to bring personal growth.

I believe, in personal life, each one of us is a leader and life presents us certain tough situations which demand us to respond with the best of our abilities. Especially, at work, If you are holding a leadership position or an aspiring leader, it is utmost important that you are well connected to self and know yourself completely. This is so because, being a leader you are exposed to harsh criticism and scrutiny, and if you can't stand it you cannot stay in leadership position for too long. Imagine, if for every little criticism, somebody feels bad, how s/he can think of doing something different or creative. Being different means you have to stop following others and have to have self-reliance in whatever choices you are making with the best of personal capabilities.
Same goes true for parents and spouses or in any relationship, it is absolutely important that you know yourself completely and no amount of criticism from others is potential enough to make you feel bad.

Be Yourself

"Psychological freedom, a firm sense of self-esteem, is the most powerful weapon against the long night of physical slavery." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

The beauty of being human is that we all are unique. Our life experiences, background, upbringing, and religion we follow, personal habits, attitude, all these make us unique. Knowing this fact and believing in it truly should be good enough reason to believe in and accepting self. Does that mean one should stop listening to others and become a rebel in every situation? No, being different doesn't mean that you are opposing others, make yourself receptive to new ideas and learning and develop tolerance towards others to accept them with their flaws. Having personal flaws in habits and attitude should not be the reason of low self esteem but try to replace it with a thought of developing willingness to learn and improve to what you feel best for you.

If you do not trust yourself, for sure, nobody will trust you. Work on your personal growth and develop a vision for yourself. Working on personal goal and achieving personal vision are the pillars of personal growth. Do not worry about acceptance of others, if you are honest in your intentions and not causing any harm to others, sooner or later people will accept you, even if they don't, you have a bigger reason to celebrate that you accept YOURSELF with your faults and flaws. Embrace yourself with your faults and congratulate yourself for accepting at least one person in life absolutely unconditionally and looking forward to live life with the best of personal potential.

Congratulations, if you are a person who enjoys high levels of self-esteem, because you are a precious gift to society. People like you are bestowed with immense power to make others feel good. Use this gift and encourage others to accept themselves with personal flaws, doesn't matter if it is physical or some particular mindset. The good idea would be to start from your home, encourage your kids, spouse, and siblings to enjoy high level of self-esteem and help them to achieve the best of personal potential. I feel, people who are living suboptimal life is a great loss to society because every individual possess a power to contribute something but if s/he is struggling with low self-esteem then how can such an individual think beyond ordinary and deliver something unique and great to mankind. So, extend your hands and reach out to people who need your help.

With wishes for you to live the best of personal potential.
Related Posts
How to enhance Self-Esteem? - Part I
How to enhance Self-Esteem? - Part II
How is your relationship with self?
Win the world with confidence
Face your demons - Overcoming fears

Seema Bhatnagar
, Blogger, Writer, Life Coach and Founder of Abundance Thinkers, site for personal growth and development. Empowering people in achieving and living the best of personal potential.

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