Are you a perfectionist? - Part I

8, July, 2014, by Seema Bhatnagar

perfectionist falling

Do you feel over stressed and anxious most of the times while working on an important piece of work, spending copious amount of time for completing any work, beat yourself up for making errors? Do you believe that anything lesser than a perfect is a failure for you? You yell or get angry over others for not doing up to the mark job. If you felt like answering as "Yes" to these, then you are living a life of a perfectionist.

Who is perfectionist?

Perfectionist is an individual who sets high and unrealistic standards and ideals to achieve - on not meeting these or anything lesser, means a personal failure. Such individuals are persistently thinking self-defeating thoughts - their self-esteem is based on how others accept them and how much praise they receive from others.

Here are some 12 telltale signs of a perfectionist.

  1. Black-and-white thinking
  2. Believe in setting and meeting unrealistic goals and standards for self, failing to achieve these means complete personal failure. There is no grey or middle area, either perfection or a failure, are the two ends of a scale.

  3. Overly self-critical
  4. Relentlessly self-critical for making trivial or insignificant mistakes. Even a minor mistake is a sign of personal inadequacy and failure.

  5. Over attentive to details.
  6. Spending plenty of time and taking extra care for minute, irrelevant and insignificant details. For example, instead of focusing on contents of a document, spending plenty of time in making sure there is no spelling mistake, size and color of the fonts are meeting perfect standards. Overly attentive to details to avoid any criticism from others.

  7. Success means perfection
  8. Success means achieving personal envisioned goals without compromising over standards and ideals, doesn't matter how hard it is to achieve.

  9. Critical of others
  10. Not only critical of self but also of others for not setting high enough standards. It is all right for them to put down others for not achieving high enough standards. They find it tough to look at things from others' perspective.

  11. Always thinking of results
  12. Always focused on end results to avoid any kind of failure and rejection from others. It is important for them to achieve goal at any cost than to face failure.

  13. Fear of failure
  14. There is always a fear of failure because failure is equivalent to rejection by others.

  15. Overly defensive of criticism
  16. It is difficult for them to stand any criticism because criticism means failure of personal standards and ideals.

  17. Procrastinator
  18. Suffer with perfectionist paralysis. It is really paradoxical that perfectionist suffers with procrastination. Yes, it is true - in the rush of meeting personal standards and until arriving at a perfect state they will not start any task and will land up in perfection paralysis state.

  19. Easily offended
  20. Consider every little comment or feedback as a personal attack and take offence over comments which are not even remotely related to them.

  21. Lack openness.
  22. There is a constant underneath fear of rejection by others on knowing about personal shortcomings, due to this they never open up themselves with others. In fact, they derive pleasure in somebody's failure because it gives them a temporary relief from personal distress.

  23. Expecting praise from others.
  24. There is a deep and constant craving for praise from others. It works as a continuous fuel to have more unrealistic goals.

If you find some of the above mentioned signs in you - by all odds, you are living a life of a perfectionist. You might think, it is something to feel proud of, on the contrary you should take some remedial steps to come out of this habit.

image©Pietro Zanarini
Related Posts
Are you a perfectionist? - Part II
How to enhance Self-Esteem?

Seema Bhatnagar
, Blogger, Writer, Life Coach and Founder of Abundance Thinkers, site for personal growth and development. Empowering people in achieving and living the best of personal potential.

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